Day 19: What's up?

How's life been treating you? It's been going okay for me, I haven't been doing much other than going to the gym, doing pottery, smoking weed and gaming at home. There's this sense of an existential crisis coming up though, and I'm not sure why. Is it fear of what's to come, or fear of how I'm spending my time now? I don't exactly know, and it's really hard to tell. I'm not sure whether I'm spending my time correctly or not, but then again, the whole plan for this summer was to do as little as possible so as to spend my time resting and relaxing.

I don't know where this feeling comes from then, is it just the nicotine withdrawals? I should mention I'm trying to quit nicotine, with moderate success so far. It could be the nicotine withdrawals making me feel worse about my situation. But what if it isn't? What if it's just how my mind works, self-hatred and all? Well, then that's a bigger issue, but one that I can personally work on. From here on though, all you should focus on is living, lasting a few more days for the nicotine withdrawals to finally go away. That's all. From there, we can figure out something else, we can see whether my time spent is time wasted, or if it's simply just a matter of perspective.

Anyways, that's it for today. Good luck, Pirooz!