Day 17: Back to the Roots
The main reason I started this blog was to put down into writing my chaotic brain; publicizing these thoughts were simply to keep myself motivated to continue doing this. So, today I'm going to put an excerpt from my personal journal, no filters. This was during a trip I was on with an undisclosed drug. Hope you enjoy.
I'm tripping right now, need to bring myself back... what can I bring back from this trip? Don't try. Don't try, and things will fall into place. If that means spending your days relaxing, that's fine too. Not everyday has to feel like an adventure, but some days can be amazing. Even beautiful. And that's what's beautiful about life. The little moments of beauty.
It's simple, yet hard. It's free, yet costly. All it costs is your love. Freedom. Take mine, what's yours. Take yours, what's mine. The devil's advocate. The blessings from hell. The damnations of heaven. It's all a contradiction! That's the beauty of it.
Try, but don't try, don't try, but try! If that makes sense. Not really. It's there, but it's no longer there. It's here, or is it? I don't know what I'm writing at this point. Does it matter? It does! You matter! You always do.
But what brings that matter? What matters if nothing matters? Everything!
One more thing. An update on my life: it's been getting better. I've been able to enjoy the little things more and remember what I used to think. It's all about those small moments of joy. Life is everywhere. I read a poem on the way to my commute to school the other day. It mentioned something about how bustling the city is, and how you can get lost in it. But it's not big enough to get lost forever. And I truly believe that finding the people you love, finding people that you enjoy your time with, it takes time, but it's always possible. And if one friend group doesn't work out, you can keep trying! There will always be people out there who are on the same wavelength as you.
