Day 11

Once again, I couldn't sleep on time. I think this time it was simply due to the use of cannabis. My relationship with cannabis has always been weird; sometimes it would be amazing, sometimes it would be the worst. I recall hearing people say that you should treat your relationship with a drug like cannabis as if it was like a relationship with a real human: use it in a healthy manner and it can improve your life, but use it in an unhealthy manner and it will simply magnify all your negative qualities. For me, it tends to be the latter.

One of my favourite activities while high is playing video games, and honestly that's because it makes me more immersed into the game where I forget about everything else. But that just means more escapism and more of a dopamine hit at one instance. And the higher the dopamine hit, the lower the crash afterwards. This causes a negative feedback loop where I continuously look for higher dopamine hits to make up for my lower baseline dopamine due to my habits. So what should I do? Well, as mentioned before, figure out ways to turn off my brain by night, and choose to go for more high effort, low reward activities during your mornings. Issue is, if I don't wake up before 12pm, I tend to feel like I've already wasted the day. But that usually isn't true; I still have time to work.

Anyways, I guess I'll have to try again tomorrow.